Tuesday, October 23, 2012

It is hard to believe I have been home now for almost 5 months. I have settled into a new routine, a new place to live, a new job, new hobbies...so many new things coupled with the old habits of many years. Yet despite this newness, not a day goes by that I don't think about my life and experiences in Botswana. Whether it is about the young girls who frequented my home to listen to music, play games, cook treats, or swing in my hammock, or the friends at work, the members of the support groups I worked with, my Peace Corps buddies, my wonderful host family, a very special friend, or the hot and crowded buses. A big part of me is still there and will always be there.

They say Peace Corps changes a person and I know this to be true. I thought it was more about a rite of passage for the 20 somethings and that it would lead them to grow into even more exceptional people than they already were to even make it to Peace Corps. But it changes everyone, no matter what demographic you represent when you are taken on for the challenge. I still don't know what all these changes mean for me. I am still feeling them and thinking about them and trying to figure it out. I didn't know it would take this long, but I realize now it will take much longer than I ever imagined. I am exactly the same person I was before I left to go there. And in almost every way possible I am also exactly not that person. I am not entirely sure where that leaves me. But I know where it points me.

I have not allowed myself time to write since I have come home. The daily writing I did while in Africa has been supplanted by both true, hard work and simple, idle, meaningless "busi-ness." This meaningless component is driving me mad and I realize now it must cease. I have stories I still need to write down here. Even if no one is there to read them, I have to write these people down, so that they are not forgotten. I have to write these stories down, so the me I found is not forgotten.

If you are there to read them, as they come, thank you.