I need to get better at killing spiders

I need to get better at killing spiders. My ambivalence about it is freaking out my cats. So far I have only had the flat wall spiders, which I pretty much leave alone unless they decide to hang out on the ceiling right above my bed. That freaks me out. Especially since this particular one didn’t look all that flat to me and I know spiders don’t accidentally fall, but I wasn’t keen on him purposely jumping either.

So he had to go. My ceilings are pretty high, so even standing on my bed I would have to reach and maybe jump. This would be tricky.  And this is where my ambivalence really messes me up. See I want to kill it, but I don’t want to kill it. Spiders are good things that eat other bugs, right?  At home I would trap all but the grossest, hairiest spiders in a glass and throw them back outside.  Well, these flat suckers are untrappable. They move so quick and unpredictably that I would need a very big glass and a very long arm and a way to keep myself from shrieking.

So standing on my bed, holding a shoe with minimal tread, I am slightly freaked out because 1) its big and hairy 2) its gonna move fast 3) its gonna move fast and land on my head 4) I am going to kill another living thing for no other reason than it is in the wrong place (see, even here its “location, location, location” ). I give it my best shot.

Okay, so this is that ambivalence part. I really should just slam it straight into the ceiling with the shoe, right? But what if it falls on me?! Better to hit it in a kind of swinging motion so it flies away from me, right? Just in case I only maim it and so it can’t jump on me. And what did it ever do to me?

Okay, going for the “hit-it-hard-but-in-a-swing-it-away-from-me-fashion” method.  Apparently this requires me to shriek really loudly and mutter to myself, also loudly.  Every time I decide to kill a spider, once the battle is over, I look up to see Sisi sitting with wide eyes staring me down.  I hear a cat like “tsk,tsk.”

I know I should leave it to the experts, but even Pudi, who has a vertical jump that most basketball players would envy, proportionally speaking, can’t get spiders that are on the ceiling.  The spiders are figuring out that they need to stay high to stay alive.

So while the cats do what they can, sometimes I have to shriek and mutter. The shoeprint on my ceiling, right above my bed, is a regular reminder to me that we sometimes let the small things in life control us the most, when we probably shouldn’t. Then again, this small thing didn’t look like a harmless flat wall spider to me.

I am typing this in the dark, with only the light of my computer screen and two candles.  Power is out. Apparently there is a spider that IS harmful, that is half spider have scorpion looking and moves even more erratically than the flat guys. It is attracted to light and “chews”. I am using the candles as decoys, but I probably don’t want to be sitting here writing about spiders anymore.

 Another volunteer further north named such a spider Pete. That sounds pretty substantial. I haven’t seen them around here and I am hoping my cats will earn their keep. Especially with all the food and litter schlepping I have to do. Really though, I better go.